Monthly Archives: March 2016






Hello my friends!

A couple of days ago I was nominated for the Liebster award  by  dear fellow blogger Vikram Bishla and I would like to thank him for my first nomination. You can check out his blog here:

It took me a couple of days to consider what to write about and if I should actually accept it, but then I thought: Why not?


Here come the 11 questions from Vikram:

1.What is your most memorable moment?

I guess that´s not one but three moments the births of my three children. That where the most exiting and happy moments of my life.

2.The one thing you want to change in you?    

Probably my shyness and akwardness toward strangers and new situations. I hate meeting new people and it takes me ages to get comfortable around a new workplace for example. I wish I could be a bit more confident.

3.One thing that you want to change about your country?        

I guess we live in very difficult and exciting times, and I would like people to be more open to change and more welcoming of all the refugees that are coming to our country. I know that we have a minority that is very much against foreigners “invading” their lives and they are scared that they will cause problems. But the majority of us is very much trying to make it work. I wish we could persuade everybody to change their mind.  And I wish for the journalists to stop trying to manipulate people into so much hatred.

4. Are you an outsider or insider?    

I´m an insider in my family but I reckon I´m more of an outsider in general. I´m not really good at interacting with people, I´m an introvert so it is rather difficult to get involved. And I tend to overthink every decision I have to make,so most of the time I can´t make up my mind until it is too late…

5.Who is your favourite author?    

I have got a few. Stephen King is one of them, from childhood really. Piers Anthony is another, I love his Xanth Novels and the way he plays with puns.

6.What makes you angry?      

Homophobia of any kind makes me really angry. I think everybody should have the right to live their lifes anyway they want, and nobody should have the right to interfere.

7.How do you define success?      

I think success doesn´t depend on the amount of money you make or how many people work under you, what car you drive or how big your house is. But it should make a difference for yourself. If it makes you happy and you can´t think of any better way to spend your time then that´s a success. If you can look back at your life and be glad about the decisions you made, mistakes and all, that´s a success.

8.What is most important to you in life?            

My family for sure. My husband  and children, my mom and my brother, we all live in one big house together, and it can be messy and loud but we are always there for each other.

9.Which is your favourite genre of books?    

Horror and fantasy. And the occasional autobiography

10.What do you regret about your life?      

Maybe that I didn´t work harder in school, I never enjoyed it at all. I was always an outsider in school and book-learning was never my strong suit. Always more of a dreamer I guess…

11.What keeps you motivated?        

Yet again my family.  I have to try and get better to be there for them when they need me.

 11 random facts about me:      

1. I would love to sleep in on weekends but can´t really sleep more than 6 hours.

2.My favourite animals are elephants and horses.

3.I´m a sucker for hospital tv-shows.                                                                                          

4.I love cross-stitching but hate knitting and crocheting.                                                      

5.I am German but I hate Sauerkraut 😉                                                                                          

6.I love dogs but don´t have one anymore.                                                                                  

7.I love flowers but I hate gardening.                                                                                            

8.I love cake-decorating                                                                                                                      

9.I love singing.                                                                                                                                

10.I believe in love at first sight.                                                                                                    

11.I love books but hate comics.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

And here are my nominees :



James F. O´Neil

Mukthi Raja




Olive Ole

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           My questions for you are:                                                                                                                                                                               

1. When did you start blogging and why?

2.Who is your role-model?

3.What is your favourite book and why?

4.What country would you like to live in?

5.What is your greatest strength?

6.What do you fear most?

7.If you could be an animal, which one would it be and why?

8.What is most important to you in life?

9.What is your favourite movie?

10.What would you want to change in your life if you could?

11.What makes you angry?


What to write about…

Today, I’m a bit at a loss what to write about.

So don’t mind me rambling on a bit. Who know’s it might make sense eventually…

There have been a few changes in our lives lately. I’ve lost my job yet again due to health problems, I will need operations on my knees as soon as I lose enough weight. And last week my husband was diagnosed with Parkinsons.He had had tremors in his hands for quite a few years but since he is only 54 now it was not anything the doctors considered until now.

That was quite a shock as you might be able to imagine or maybe not.

Both of us don’t have a clue what to expect and obviously I worry a lot. He is trying out a drug that is supposed to keep the tremors at bay but that will be a long process  of trial and error until we find one that works without too many side-effects. He seems to take it better than I expected, but he isn’t a man who speaks about his worries a lot so I don’t really know what goes on in his head.

Me, I just try to be cheerful and not to worry too much but it’s not easy. I guess that’s why I started this blog, to try and get my thoughts out so they don’t whirl around in my head all the time.

I really didn´t know if it was a good idea to write about this, but in the end I decided that I will do it. So there we go, it´s out now, and for better or worse, we will get through this somehow.

Thanks for reading…..

Good night



Happy Easter!

Good afternoon to all of you out there!

How has your Easter weekend been so far? Over here in Germany the weather was quite a mix of lovely, sunny and nearly summerly temperatures on Saturday to rainy and windy with short srunny patches yesterday and today. So at least it wasn´t boring.

As most people do on holidays like these there has been quite a lot of eating, though I tried to keep it to a sensible level. I managed to skip breakfast yesterday and today and only had one piece of cake both times. At dinner I tried not eating too much but it wasn´t easy because it was delicious if I may say so myself 😉

We had leg of lamb and some venison with roast potatoes and red cabbage. Today we will have what is left of the meat so there is not a lot of preparation involved.

From tomorrow I will be back on my very low calorie diet, so hopefully I won´t have done too much damage.

I really couldn´t restist eating a piece of this ….

So, I might have put on a couple of grams but it was well worth it, and I am going to go at it with renewed vigor, I am sure that it is good to sin now and again as long as you don´t do it all the time. Otherwise you just get tired of it all and just give up.

To end this on a funny note: my daughter told me yesterday about a dream she had the other night. She said that we had been clothesshopping together and that I looked like Kate Moss😂. Everything I tried on fitted me perfectly and she couldn’t find anything! Now what does that mean do you think?

Don’t get me wrong I don’t wanna look like Kate Moss, to tell the truth at the moment I rather look like I’ve EATEN Kate Moss….

But I wouldn’t mind losing enough weight to get a bit closer to normal weight.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this…

Have a great day


Day 5 of commenting bootcamp

Now how was it going for you, fellow bloggers?

After yesterdays not so easy assignment today went fairly easy. Had a couple of nice conversations today. I did try not to spend too much time online and did some cross-stitch instead. My project is coming along quite nicely.20160321_230156.jpg

It keeps me occupied and not constantly thinking about food.

Yesterday was a really bad day, I was sooo hungry all day and I did eat more than I actually should have. But today I did better. So hopefully that was just a small hiccup.

Easter is a bit difficult because traditionally there is always some nice food involved. I will bake a nice cake but will probably not eat it. On sunday I will make leg of lamb with oven potatoes. But I will only have one or the other.

So I’ve got everything planned. We’ll see how that works out 😉. At least there is no chocolate in the house.

Good night  happy campers


Just a thought before bedtime….

One step at a time…

You live your life one step at a time.

But you rush through it always three steps ahead.

Never in the moment, always hoping, wishing for

something better, something more,

because this life can´t be everything.

You deserve more.

You only see what all the others have, and forget

what is yours already.

You see the ads on TV, all the stuff you should buy.

But you don´t see your children or your friends.

You don´t see the things that money can´t buy.

And rush after things that don´t matter at all.

Stop chasing after posessions,

they can´t give you what you need.

Be grateful for what you have,

abandon the greed.

Celebrate life, enjoy the beauty around you,

A flower, a cloud in the sky,  a walk in the park

a baby´s smile.

You live your life one step at a time,

and before you know it, you´ve let it pass by….

Commenting bootcamp day 4


well, I have done my bit, though it wasn´t easy again.

I actually did write quite a long comment, I just don´t know if it will be well received…. am a bit worried about that to be honest. Politics is always a dangerous topic even worse when Religion get´s mixed in,  where you have to tread lightly and usually I just keep quiet because I find the ensuing discussions rather tiresome and often aggressive. But I tried and just hope that I don´t get in trouble for it… 😉



Day 2 commenting bootcamp…


One of my many pictures 🙂


Last night, it was a bit more difficult to get the task done. While Monday, I managed to comment on quite a few blogs, yesterday proved to be a bit more tricky.

Liking a blog and finding something to relate to so you can share some personal story are two different things altogether.

In the end I did find something but I´m not sure if I really succeeded… well I tried anyway.

I can´t believe how many different sites I checked out the last 2 days. And every one of them was amazing in it´s own way. So many creative minds at work…. I have to be careful not to lose track of time while I read so many great stories.

Now I´m a bit at a loss to figure out what to write about myself….

My life at the moment is not exactly exciting. Since I am in constant pain, going out is hardly something I want to do, as anybody whith chronic pain can probably relate to.

So, I stay home and try to find things to do. I love to do cross-stitch and over the years I have done so many pictures that I have lost count. But, as anybody who does any kind of craft undoubtedly knows, there are plenty more to do 😀.

Also, sitting for hours on end puts a lot of strain on my back and neck so I have to be careful not to end up with a headache. Lately, my mobile is quite a distraction as well and I think as much as I like it, I have to be careful not to spend all my time browsing the net…

However, for today´s task I will have to do just that, so I better start looking again haha 😉

Have a great day my friends







First impressions

Well, today was a really interesting day. I looked at many new blogs, read some touching, heartwarming,some sad,some uplifting stories and I have a lot to contemplate.

One thing I learned today is that you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously. No matter how bad you think your life is, how difficult your situation, there is always somebody else who believes his or her life is worse, and a lot of the time they are actually right.

Another thing is: There is almost always a solution to your problems. It might not be easy, you might not like it, it might not be what you want right now,but if you put your mind to it, you can change something. It might take you in a completely different direction, but sometimes that is just what you need.

And a third thing is: you will only find out what you can do if you try. The world is full of opportunities and is up to you if you take some of them or if you end up regretting that you didn’t.

Today I did just that. And it felt good. I don’t know where it takes me and I don’t know who I will meet on this new path but no matter what,at least I won’t regret trying 💖

love and light to you my friends…



Abnehmen und Langeweile…

Also eigentlich geht´s mir richtig gut. Ich komme mit den Kalorien ganz gut hin und es fällt mir nicht halb so schwer wie ich erwartet hatte. Aber mir fällt immer wieder auf, wie schwierig es ist schlechte Gewohnheiten abzulegen. Regelmäßig erwische ich mich dabei, das ich am liebsten zum Kühlschrank gehen würde um mir irgendwas zu essen zu holen. Nicht das ich übermäßig hungrig wäre, aber es ist einfach so das ich sehr oft aus Langeweile esse. Oder als Nebenbeschäftigung. Gerade abends, wenn ich sonst stundenlang am Computer gesessen und irgendwas gespielt habe, standen immer irgendwelche Leckereien griffbereit. Und die hatten es meistens in sich. Nachos mit Salsa-Dip, Schokolade, dann noch was Süßes zu trinken und schon war der Abend geritzt.

Sicher wusste ich das das nicht gerade gut für die Figur ist, aber was soll´s, ein paar Kalorien mehr machen den Kohl auch nicht fett. Ich hab ja eh keine Chance abzunehmen, weil ich schlechte Gene geerbt habe. Bei uns in der Familie haben alle Übergewicht, die Frauen besonders, Mutter, Großmutter, Urgroßmutter, auch während und kurz nach dem Krieg, wo es ja kaum etwas zu essen gab hatten sie alle leichtes bis mittleres Übergewicht. Also wie soll ich da etwas dran ändern? Das ist eine der Fettlogiken, die ich mir immer gerne als Ausrede zu Nutze gemacht habe.

Das Buch “Fettlogik überwinden” von Nadja Hermann hat mir da ziemlich die Augen geöffnet. Ja, es gibt eine genetische Veranlagung dazu, schneller und effektiver Fett einzulagern als andere.Und ja, ich habe auch so gut wie kein Sättigungsgefühl.

ABER man muss trotzdem mehr Kalorien zuführen als man verbraucht, damit der Körper diese als Fett einlagert. Und entgegen der erschreckend weit verbreiteten Annahme das man das Fett nicht wieder los werden kann wenn man zu wenig isst, hilft eine Einschränkung der Kalorienzufuhr sehr wohl beim Abnehmen.

Mein Hauptproblem ist das ich zur Zeit leider kaum Bewegung habe, so das mein Kalorienverbrauch natürlich nicht sehr hoch ist. Meine Knieprobleme erlauben es mir nicht Sport zu machen, schon kurze Strecken zu laufen ist nur mit Krücken möglich. Treppensteigen ist eine Qual und Hausarbeit so gut wie unmöglich. Also verbringe ich leider sehr viel Zeit auf dem Sofa und da sind die Beschäftigungsmöglichkeiten sehr begrenzt. Fernsehen ist ohne eine Nebenbeschäftigung zu langweilig, Lesen tue ich sehr gerne aber kann ich auch nicht stundenlang am Stück weil ich dann müde werde, also habe ich wieder vermehrt angefangen zu sticken. Das habe ich schon immer gerne gemacht und es beschäftigt die Hände und den Kopf. Ich habe festgestellt das das besonders wichtig ist, denn es ist weniger mein Magen als mein Kopf, welcher mich immer wieder in Versuchung führt.

Permanent beschäftigt er sich damit, was man denn essen könnte. Die Mahlzeiten sind natürlich zur Zeit sehr unspektakulär, da ich ja in der Hauptsache Eiweiß zu mir nehmen muss, und bei 500-600 kcal am Tag ist das schwierig. Also beschränken sich die Mahlzeiten hauptsächlich entweder auf Eiweiß-Shakes oder Quark und Fleisch mit ein bisschen Gemüse. Und da ich morgens in den letzten Tagen nur ein Vitamingetränk zu mir genommen habe, ist das schon sehr unbefriedigend.

Also trinke ich Unmengen an Wasser, und versuche ansonsten an was anderes zu denken.

Schwierig, wenn man es gewöhnt ist alle 5 Minuten irgendetwas in den Mund zu stecken. Die einfachste und effektivste Methode das zu verhindern ist ein leerer Kühlschrank und auch alle anderen Verstecke die man so angelegt hat sollten leer sein. 😉

Als ich mich Anfang Januar zum Abnehmen entschlossen hatte, habe ich alle Süßigkeiten die mir selber noch nicht zum Opfer gefallen waren (und das waren einige. Wie die meisten Menschen die sich zum Abnehmen entschließen hatte ich  natürlich auch in den letzten Tagen vorher noch so viel wie möglich in mich reingestopft, und bei der Gelegenheit wohl noch mindestens 2kg zugenommen), meinem Mann zu treuen Händen übergeben. Und der ist was Süßkram angeht fast so gierig wie ich.

Als Alternative habe ich mir mein Hantelset griffbereit am Sofa platziert. Immer wenn ich das Gefühl habe etwa essen zu wollen, mache ich stattdessen ein paar Übungen. Das ist zwar nicht viel, es sind nur 1kg Hanteln, aber besser als nichts, und gleichzeitig überliste ich so den Kopf, der eigentlich nur eine liebe alte Angewohnheit fortführen möchte.

Ich hoffe nur das mir das auch auf lange Sicht dabei hilft meine Essgewohnheiten zu ändern und meine Ernährungsumstellung zu bewältigen.

Wir werden sehen,




Hunger? never heard of it :-)

Me hungry? Never!   3 down 27 to go 🙂

Actually, I am doing really well,  considering I have only eaten about 600 cal. today. I certainly expected to feel a lot worse than I do now. No hunger pains, no weakness, I really feel fine. No headaches either and that was something I really worried about because the last time I tried fasting, I ended up with a 3 day migraine, and that is nothing I wish on anybody.

This time I think it is different. I have one meal for dinner and the rest of the day I only drink loads of water and one protein-shake. I know, it sounds awful, and yes, I could think of more pleasant things to eat, but it is only for a couple of months and after that I will slowly start eating a few more calories per day. For now, I know that is necessary to lose as much weight as possible as quickly as possible. On monday I will see my gp and probably have my blood tested again just to make sure everything is ok. I can take a guess what he is going to tell me, but it is my body and I have never been more determined in my life.

There is so many things I would like to do yet, and at the moment it is just impossible. I am in constant pain, and just the thought of doing any travelling is absolutely ridiculous. Of course I realize that losing weight won´t solve all my problems. But it will make it easier for me to try to work things out. Being able to walk painlessly again is something I have dreamed about for quite a while now and the only way of even getting close to that is a massive weight loss.

But I don´t want to complain. I really am confident that I will do it this time. Yes, I should have done it years ago, it would have been a lot easier when I was younger and healthier. But that can´t be helped now, so it doesn´t make sense crying over spilled milk, lol. Thank god I am usually of a sunny disposition, otherwise I probably would have slipped into a full-blown depression by now.

As it is, I have withdrawn from any activities from singing in the church choir to going out at weekends, so I am stuck at home nearly all the time. I usually am content staying home a lot, but not really having a choice in the matter is kind of depressing. Not to mention that I wasn´t that comfortable going out the way I look for a long time. I just hate it that no matter what I wear I feel like a whale on a beach. And no matter how people tell me that I should love my body and that it is ok to be fat, that is not what I feel…  I  hate my body. It is hideous and I want to change it. That is my opinion and nobody can persuade me to change it.

So that´s all for now folks, have a good night