Me hungry? Never! 3 down 27 to go 🙂
Actually, I am doing really well, considering I have only eaten about 600 cal. today. I certainly expected to feel a lot worse than I do now. No hunger pains, no weakness, I really feel fine. No headaches either and that was something I really worried about because the last time I tried fasting, I ended up with a 3 day migraine, and that is nothing I wish on anybody.
This time I think it is different. I have one meal for dinner and the rest of the day I only drink loads of water and one protein-shake. I know, it sounds awful, and yes, I could think of more pleasant things to eat, but it is only for a couple of months and after that I will slowly start eating a few more calories per day. For now, I know that is necessary to lose as much weight as possible as quickly as possible. On monday I will see my gp and probably have my blood tested again just to make sure everything is ok. I can take a guess what he is going to tell me, but it is my body and I have never been more determined in my life.
There is so many things I would like to do yet, and at the moment it is just impossible. I am in constant pain, and just the thought of doing any travelling is absolutely ridiculous. Of course I realize that losing weight won´t solve all my problems. But it will make it easier for me to try to work things out. Being able to walk painlessly again is something I have dreamed about for quite a while now and the only way of even getting close to that is a massive weight loss.
But I don´t want to complain. I really am confident that I will do it this time. Yes, I should have done it years ago, it would have been a lot easier when I was younger and healthier. But that can´t be helped now, so it doesn´t make sense crying over spilled milk, lol. Thank god I am usually of a sunny disposition, otherwise I probably would have slipped into a full-blown depression by now.
As it is, I have withdrawn from any activities from singing in the church choir to going out at weekends, so I am stuck at home nearly all the time. I usually am content staying home a lot, but not really having a choice in the matter is kind of depressing. Not to mention that I wasn´t that comfortable going out the way I look for a long time. I just hate it that no matter what I wear I feel like a whale on a beach. And no matter how people tell me that I should love my body and that it is ok to be fat, that is not what I feel… I hate my body. It is hideous and I want to change it. That is my opinion and nobody can persuade me to change it.
So that´s all for now folks, have a good night